Eek! Riding the honesty roller coaster

How often do we get distracted at the office? I don’t know about you but I would say more often than I would like. Is it because I don’t feel challenged or under pressure – or is it because my mind is working most optimally during 9am – 5pm so the thoughts don’t stop flowing.

I don’t have any of these creative thoughts in the afternoons after work and rarely on the weekends. Right now, my biggest thought of the day is finding my purpose?

I have searched everything from my local church session times (even though I am not a Christian) to my favourite lipstick brand. What is wrong with me? Why am I so distracted? I would say I am a mediocre performer in my role at work with moments of exceeding expectations. But I would really like to be a consistent high performer but for some reason I just can’t get my mind to focus. Why?

I have read the LinkedIn thought pieces on confident people, successful people, balanced life people and they all seem to have a common thread. They wake up early, get 40 to 60 minutes of personal time before getting ready for work. That personal time will consist of some form of physical (yoga) and mental (personal reading) exercises. They take quick showers, listen to interesting feeds and podcasts on the commute to the office. They get in fresh, focussed and sound like they just slay. For some reason, I am not exceeding an average Joe almost daily (at work and at life and it is making me anxious as I approach my 30s).

People seem to be doing amazing, exciting things with their life, creating content, food blogging, travelling the world and making the absolute most of every day and I am sitting here like… why am I wasting myself. I spent a considerable amount of my 20s blaming everyone else and then I started blaming myself. But I think I am ready to close the blame chapter and start making everyday of my life count. So maybe today will be the last time that I binge watch Friends until I fall asleep. I think once you know every single line of dialogue across 10 seasons then it may be time to quit and move on. Maybe this time I want to move onto something more real. Like my life! If you feel like me then lets help each other live lives that we are proud of. I am using this blog as an accountability stick, why don’t you use these pieces to get off the coach and do something that makes you happy and fulfilled.

Sending out wishes for service to mankind